A month and a half into life with three children under three years of age and day to day realities are definitely beginning to set in.
I would say the last week or so has been extraordinarily tough.
I'm finding myself antsy and easily irritated.
That's just with the kids.
Don't get me started on the adapting my marriage is weathering.
Here's is a general outline of how our days at home flow:
................................................................................................................................................................
3 am- bottle for Pumpkin
6 am- feed Pumpkin, go back to sleep
8 am- every one begins to wake up, I get breakfast going
9 am- Adam to work, Sweetums and Peanut play, I feed Pumpkin a bottle
Between 9-12 we just kind of go with the flow. The girls play or sometimes I'll turn cartoons on. Pumpkin goes in and out of sleep still. I hold Pumpkin, clean, start laundry, read stuff online, get on Pinterest, and whatever household stuff needs done.
12 pm-lunch, then watch a movie (usually Tinkerbell), bottle for Pumpkin
1 pm- naps, I nap or shower or just doing anything I really can't do when my audience is around
2:30ish- up
3pm- snack, bottle for Pumpkin, play until dinner
Between 3-6 is another go with the flow time.
5pm- start making dinner
6pm- eat, bottle for Pumpkin
7 pm- baths (if needed), bed for Peanut
8 pm- bed for Sweetums
9 pm- bottle for Pumpkin
10 pm- Last bottle of the day for Pumpkin
...............................................................................................................................................................
This is the grind.
It's good and seeing it all layed out like this actually makes me feel better about it.
But during those mid-morning and mid-afternoon 3 hour chunks, I really struggle with feeling like I'm not doing enough.
Eventually the housework does end.
I end up ignoring the kids and playing on my phone.
I've noticed I become especially irritable and grouchy during those times.
I start to worry that my kids are watching too much TV or not eating well enough or that I'm not training them well.......
I think anybody would feel grouchy if they constantly felt as guilty and lazy as I do, especially during those chunks of time.
Though I think it's important to give yourself and your family grace, I really do want to be appropriately productive and not waste all those hours each day.
I can easily become idle and that's just never good.
I am reaching out to God to lead me here.
This morning during one of those stretches I was sitting on the couch, the girls were climbing all over, squabbling on and off about a toy, too much of nothing going on, and I literally just said, "What am I supposed to do, Lord?"
I didn't get a response that minute.
I just took the toy away and probably switched from pinterest to candy crush.
Agh. The Ugly Truth.
More than anything, I just want/need peace and joy and self control and love and kindness and goodness and gentleness and forbearance.
I want the whole fruit of the Spirit for my family's sake.
Lord, help me accept this season in the life of my family. Strengthen my marriage through this so it can be a support and can continue to honor You. Love my kids through me. Raise them well despite me. Help them eat their vegetables (chuckle). And help me chill out and trust You to carry me. Develop the fruit of Your Spirit in me. Use me to benefit my family and not be idle. Help me to do everything with joy and love. I'm no good without You.
Amen.
I would say the last week or so has been extraordinarily tough.
I'm finding myself antsy and easily irritated.
That's just with the kids.
Don't get me started on the adapting my marriage is weathering.
Here's is a general outline of how our days at home flow:
................................................................................................................................................................
3 am- bottle for Pumpkin
6 am- feed Pumpkin, go back to sleep
8 am- every one begins to wake up, I get breakfast going
9 am- Adam to work, Sweetums and Peanut play, I feed Pumpkin a bottle
Between 9-12 we just kind of go with the flow. The girls play or sometimes I'll turn cartoons on. Pumpkin goes in and out of sleep still. I hold Pumpkin, clean, start laundry, read stuff online, get on Pinterest, and whatever household stuff needs done.
12 pm-lunch, then watch a movie (usually Tinkerbell), bottle for Pumpkin
1 pm- naps, I nap or shower or just doing anything I really can't do when my audience is around
2:30ish- up
3pm- snack, bottle for Pumpkin, play until dinner
Between 3-6 is another go with the flow time.
5pm- start making dinner
6pm- eat, bottle for Pumpkin
7 pm- baths (if needed), bed for Peanut
8 pm- bed for Sweetums
9 pm- bottle for Pumpkin
10 pm- Last bottle of the day for Pumpkin
...............................................................................................................................................................
This is the grind.
It's good and seeing it all layed out like this actually makes me feel better about it.
But during those mid-morning and mid-afternoon 3 hour chunks, I really struggle with feeling like I'm not doing enough.
Eventually the housework does end.
I end up ignoring the kids and playing on my phone.
I've noticed I become especially irritable and grouchy during those times.
I start to worry that my kids are watching too much TV or not eating well enough or that I'm not training them well.......
I think anybody would feel grouchy if they constantly felt as guilty and lazy as I do, especially during those chunks of time.
Though I think it's important to give yourself and your family grace, I really do want to be appropriately productive and not waste all those hours each day.
I can easily become idle and that's just never good.
I am reaching out to God to lead me here.
This morning during one of those stretches I was sitting on the couch, the girls were climbing all over, squabbling on and off about a toy, too much of nothing going on, and I literally just said, "What am I supposed to do, Lord?"
I didn't get a response that minute.
I just took the toy away and probably switched from pinterest to candy crush.
Agh. The Ugly Truth.
More than anything, I just want/need peace and joy and self control and love and kindness and goodness and gentleness and forbearance.
I want the whole fruit of the Spirit for my family's sake.
Lord, help me accept this season in the life of my family. Strengthen my marriage through this so it can be a support and can continue to honor You. Love my kids through me. Raise them well despite me. Help them eat their vegetables (chuckle). And help me chill out and trust You to carry me. Develop the fruit of Your Spirit in me. Use me to benefit my family and not be idle. Help me to do everything with joy and love. I'm no good without You.
Amen.
Me too. Just everything.
ReplyDelete