This is going to be a steamy post. As in I need to blow off some steam.
Life just seems to be closing in. I thought freeing up my schedule more would be the fix that I needed. And it has helped. There are just things in my heart, burdens I guess, that just feel like they're putting immense pressure on each moment of the day. I am just praying for God to pull my heart close to Him. All I can handle right now is trying to love Him. I think because I feel like I fall short of everything else (and I surely fall short in loving Him) I can at least concentrate in doing my very best in loving God. Does that make sense? Life just seems to thrust so many pressures (i.e. church obligations, family obligations, expectations, inner desires...) it can become painfully overwhelming.
My response at this moment is I just want to move away. I just want Adam and me to pick up and move. Anywhere. I'm serious. I just want room to breath. There's ALWAYS somewhere we/I need to be, something I need to be, something I need to be doing. I just want to be. I want to love God but things that should be good and productive feel more often like exhausting distractions.
Relationships feel like a constant balancing act. Should I spend more time here or there with them? Are we healthy? Is she mad? Should I talk to her about that? Why can't he just give us some space? Are they are our responsibility?
Lord, this is all so human. And I'm not the first to feel or think this way. Please don't only fill in my gaps, but make me new again. Help me to love you. Help me to trust you. Make my heart sincere and compassionate. Release my heart from this guilt and these unnecessary burdens so that I can focus on you. Help me to study you're word with some consistency. Remind me of your presence moment by moment. Bring me through this temporary life. See the desires of my heart and let me know you're doing something about them. Give me courage. Give me motivation. Refine me into someone who can serve you and love you with peace and assurance.
Amen
Life just seems to be closing in. I thought freeing up my schedule more would be the fix that I needed. And it has helped. There are just things in my heart, burdens I guess, that just feel like they're putting immense pressure on each moment of the day. I am just praying for God to pull my heart close to Him. All I can handle right now is trying to love Him. I think because I feel like I fall short of everything else (and I surely fall short in loving Him) I can at least concentrate in doing my very best in loving God. Does that make sense? Life just seems to thrust so many pressures (i.e. church obligations, family obligations, expectations, inner desires...) it can become painfully overwhelming.
My response at this moment is I just want to move away. I just want Adam and me to pick up and move. Anywhere. I'm serious. I just want room to breath. There's ALWAYS somewhere we/I need to be, something I need to be, something I need to be doing. I just want to be. I want to love God but things that should be good and productive feel more often like exhausting distractions.
Relationships feel like a constant balancing act. Should I spend more time here or there with them? Are we healthy? Is she mad? Should I talk to her about that? Why can't he just give us some space? Are they are our responsibility?
Lord, this is all so human. And I'm not the first to feel or think this way. Please don't only fill in my gaps, but make me new again. Help me to love you. Help me to trust you. Make my heart sincere and compassionate. Release my heart from this guilt and these unnecessary burdens so that I can focus on you. Help me to study you're word with some consistency. Remind me of your presence moment by moment. Bring me through this temporary life. See the desires of my heart and let me know you're doing something about them. Give me courage. Give me motivation. Refine me into someone who can serve you and love you with peace and assurance.
Amen
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