Today is the first day of one more blog. I'm creating this blog because I love reading other people's blogs and I like this media for recording my days, thoughts, projects, interests, messes, and w/e else I feel like typing into nothingness. This blog is a secret. ;) Unless you've found it.....if so, read or don't read. I'm just recording.
Now that I have this big, blank space to write in, I have no idea what to say. hmm what to say when my audience is only myself? hmm...
I want a baby. I want a baby almost as much as I wanted to marry Adam while we were dating. The difference is that I could do something about wanting to marry Adam. I did. But when it comes to wanting a baby (babies) I can only wait, watch, and try to keep some bit of self-control in the process. I know God knows, and I know that whatever He wants to do is the best thing because its what He wants. But that knowledge doesn't satisfye. Everything is still there. Also I feel guilty feeling so sad about wanting a baby because 1) I am young, 2) I've been married such a short time, 3) Others have been struggling for a longer time than myself, 4) "There's other things I should be doing as a responsilbe adult like finishing school". I feel like I have no right to experience these feelings. I don't know yet.
Well that was a doozy for my first post but that's what this space is for. Now I'm going to go meet my hot husband for dinner before I go to my night Art Hist. class (zzzzzzzzzzzz) ((I may post some more while in said class))
Now that I have this big, blank space to write in, I have no idea what to say. hmm what to say when my audience is only myself? hmm...
I want a baby. I want a baby almost as much as I wanted to marry Adam while we were dating. The difference is that I could do something about wanting to marry Adam. I did. But when it comes to wanting a baby (babies) I can only wait, watch, and try to keep some bit of self-control in the process. I know God knows, and I know that whatever He wants to do is the best thing because its what He wants. But that knowledge doesn't satisfye. Everything is still there. Also I feel guilty feeling so sad about wanting a baby because 1) I am young, 2) I've been married such a short time, 3) Others have been struggling for a longer time than myself, 4) "There's other things I should be doing as a responsilbe adult like finishing school". I feel like I have no right to experience these feelings. I don't know yet.
Well that was a doozy for my first post but that's what this space is for. Now I'm going to go meet my hot husband for dinner before I go to my night Art Hist. class (zzzzzzzzzzzz) ((I may post some more while in said class))
No comments:
Post a Comment