The swelling feeling

Does an emotion/ desire ever just get into you and swell until you feel like you're going to burst?

Usually when I feel that it's from joy or excitement but right now it's just pain. And desire.

It's the (increasingly) familiar pain of wanting a child of our own. It's swelling and I'm just trying to get through it. It's something I have to feel I guess. I have to trust and wait for it to ebb away.

It will. It always does. But while it's there, filling my lungs and heart, all I want to do is close my eyes and cry. And talk apparently.

I don't want sympathy. I just want to get what's happening on my insides to the outside and examine it. It helps. It keeps the feelings and thoughts from expanding and filling me.

I want to be real to myself and to God and to others so......... that's that. Don't be afraid of those feelings and thoughts that well up and threaten you.

 Feel them. Look at them and see where they come from.
Appreciate them for the truth those emotions reveal about your heart. Then let them burst like individual bubbles. They'll probably come back. But they'll burst again and life will go on.

The feelings that were welling up a moment ago have nearly all burst now. I'm going to be just fine. Adam and I are going to be fine.

All glory and praise be to God, who will reign forever and ever.