Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Thoughts on Baby

I mentioned awhile ago that God had given me a new perspective on our journey with infertility.
I have gone through the years of intense grief and painful desire for having a family.
But God is good and is full of endless mercy.
He has had mercy on us by giving us peace and contentment where there was absolutely none before.

These last few months, I can sincerely say that my heart has been freed from the pain of infertility.
I attended a baby shower without tears in my eyes.
I can sit through endless conversations about my friends' children without envy.
I can be truly thankful for the life Adam and I are able to have together without the extra burden of caring for our children.
There are endless things we can do that our friends with children can't.
Of course we still desire children; it's just that the desire isn't painful anymore.
We rest in Christ and wait on Him.

Recently though Adam's mom asked us if they should be praying for Baby.....

And I was so caught off guard.
I didn't know.
Should they?
Should we?

In our contentment for what God has blessed us with, I feel like we haven't really thought about having children in a very long time and therefore haven't really been praying that intentionally for the children we may have.
I also have the fear that opening my heart up to that desire will over run me and I'll become just as I was before I accepted God's peace on the subject.

But in Philippians 4 verses 6-7 God says

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

This gives me confidence.
I don't have to be afraid of loosing peace because it is the very thing from God that will guard my heart AND my mind from envy, grief, and fear.
I can present my requests to the Lord with thanksgiving for what He has already done in our lives.

1 comment:

  1. I just want to thank you for this post! The scripture you posted is perfect for people like us who struggle with the desire to start a family. We haven't had a chance to meet yet, but I hope that changes soon. My husband, Derek, and I have been coming to First North for a few months now, and we've met Adam and your in-laws. Grace and I had a heartfelt conversation last night (I was having a really bad day full of poking and prodding and more medicine prescribing at my doctor's office) and she was kind enough to direct me to your blog. I'm really glad she did. It's a hard topic to discuss and I'm really thankful for your willingness to share your story. I'll be praying for your continued peace and God's guidance through all of this. His timing is perfect.