Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Desires of the Heart

Ok this is going to be one of those serious posts, so bear with me.

Being 22 puts me right in the season of life when big changes, big decisions, and big expectations/ hopes are happening.

Growing up makes for a lot of questions, some of which seem to take FOREVER to be answered.

So this last year or two I've accepted the attitude that I am waiting: waiting on God to answer all my questions and deliver all my hopes and dreams. Waiting is good. In Isaiah we're told to wait on the Lord

Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.

I thought that's what I was doing.
But God, in His loving way through my husband, corrected me recently.
I was not waiting on Him.
I was waiting on my own hopes and dreams.
Though God also promises the desires of our heart, my only desires should be to do His will and to live for Him.

Psalm 37:4  (NIV)

Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

My actual desires looked more like:
moving into a "real house"
pursuing adopting/having our own
Adam getting a full time job
Me being able to stay home
moving away and being independent

If God wanted all these things for us, they would be fine.
But right now, today, they're not.
I thought I was waiting on Him, but I was waiting on me.
I burdened my husband with these heavy loads and expected him to deliver what was not his to give.

So I pray that the Lord will completely change my attitude and heart about this.
I pray that God would refresh my husband from this heavy load I put on him.
I pray God would make me wiser and more patient.
I pray that God would replace my empty, self-serving desires with only Himself.

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